I am not the world's oldest virgin!

And, as I've mentioned before, there's always Julia Child.

But a woman should never let facts get in the way of some good ol' fashioned "Oh crap! I'm getting older and I'm going to be sad and alone for the rest of my life!" birthday angst.

I never thought of myself as the kind of person to have birthday angst. I've always loved my birthday. I had epic birthday parties as a kid, including a Nickelodeon themed party complete with a giant food fight and slime! I thought I was above all of that nonsense...plus, Blonde Roommate is a professional birthday angster, so I kinda figured I'd leave it up to her.

But then came the dreaded 2-3. Yeah, I know...it's not actually a significant birthday, but it hit me all at once that I'm graduating from college, going to graduate school, and that my next big birthday will be *gasp* 30!

All of that, combined with the fact that my mom got married when she was 24, led to a series of minor freak-outs culminating in my seriously considering having sex with a guy I barely know just so I would no longer be the weird virgin in my group of friends.

Luckily, I came to my senses and went speed dating instead.

Where I was involved in this little gem of a conversation:

Guy: "I want something to drink. What are you drinking?"
Me: "Rum and Coke"
Guy: "Oh, that sounds good. I like rum and coke. Maybe I'll get a rum and coke."
starts to walk towards bar
Guy: "Or a beer. Should I get a beer?"
Me: "Do you want a beer?"
Guy: "No. I hate beer."
Me: "Then why would you get it?"
Guy: "It comes in a bottle. Bottles are harder to spill. I don't want to spill my drink. That would be embarrassing." mimes staggering around and spilling a glass

On second thought, maybe being alone for the rest of my life isn't such a bad idea. I wonder how my dog would get along with cats...